Having sifted the most illuminating quotes by public figures in 2022 from the billows of hot air that were expelled (much of it from a certain royal residence in Montecito), PAUL DONNELLEY asks, who said what?

1. Which Wimbledon champion found himself locked out of the home of tennis when he unexpectedly dropped in for tea: ‘I have won this tournament eight times, please believe me. Where do I get in?’

A) Rafa Nadal B) Boris Becker

C) Bjorn Borg D) Roger Federer

2. Which putative Romeo said of his family: ‘They were surprised that a ginger could land such a beautiful woman’?

A) Ed Sheeran B) Prince Harry

C) Chris Evans D) Damian Lewis

3. Who told Eric Idle he could sing one of his songs on The Masked Singer ‘but tell me what show it is so I can make sure to avoid it’?

A) Elton John B) Bob Dylan

C) Cat Stevens D) Sir Paul McCartney

4. Who calls an alarm clock an ‘opportunity clock’ to avoid negative connotations?

A) Jeremy Vine B) Stephen Fry

C) Sandi Toksvig D) Bear Grylls

5. Who said: ‘I’m gutted Matt Hancock is more popular than me’?

A) Boy George B) Chris Moyles

C) Charlene White D) Sue Cleaver

6. Which Hollywood legend replied to director Sam Mendes filming a rain-soaked scene on the film Road To Perdition: ‘Am I OK? Well I’m dressed as a gangster and I’m shooting Paul f****** Newman. Of course I’m OK’?

A) Tom Hanks B) Tom Cruise

C) Robert De Niro D) Brad Pitt

7. Which beer maker tweeted, ‘Well, this is awkward’ after Qatar banned alcohol from World Cup stadiums?

A) Becks B) Fosters

C) Budweiser D) Carling

8. Which TV presenter said of abuse on social media: ‘Some feedback is so meaningful. But if someone wants to slag off my top? Really?’

A) Laura Kuenssberg B) Carol Kirkwood

C) Louise Minchin D) Reeta Chakrabarti

9. Who said: ‘Everyone knows Black Lives Matter was a scam. Now it’s over. You’re welcome’?

A) Trevor Phillips B) Calvin Robinson

C) Esther Krakue D) Kanye West

10. Who upon taking out a £5,600 bank loan for chest augmentation said: ‘I’d lost six stone thanks to my personal trainer but my boobs just looked like two boiled eggs in socks’?

A) Angela Rayner B) Ulrika Jonsson

C) Davina McCall D) Fiona Bruce

11. Who after their first Oscar party lamented: ‘All these people knew each other and were used to stepping over Robert Mitchum drunk on the floor. I felt so dislodged and out of it like a geography teacher from North-West London’?

A) Dame Helen Mirren

B) Dame Judi Dench

C) Dame Emma Thompson

D) Dame Kristin Scott Thomas

12. Which pop star has a surprising love of newspapers: ‘The popping out of it, the folding, the scribbling on the crossword. I hope it never goes out of fashion in our digital age. It is too romantic’?

A) Dua Lipa B) Katy Perry

C) Rita Ora D) Ariane Grande

13. ‘It’s the Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati that we have to thank for the disruption that we are seeing on our roads’, said which Tory politician about eco protesters?

A) Suella Braverman

B) David Davis

C) Priti Patel

D) Kemi Badenoch

14. Which veteran broadcaster is not a fan of Gary Lineker: ‘He just seems to shout his mouth off about everything. I don’t know what he does. Was he a footballer?’

A) Jeremy Paxman

B) David Dimbleby

C) David Attenborough

D) John Sergeant

15. Of whom did Greta Thunberg say: ‘I think I have met him. I can’t keep track of the British Royal Family. There are so many’?

A) King Charles

B) Prince of Wales

C) Prince Andrew

D) Prince Harry

16. Who was being defended by the actor Ralph Fiennes: ‘The verbal abuse directed at her is disgusting. It’s not some obscene, uber Right-wing fascist. It’s just a woman saying, “I’m a woman and I feel I’m a woman and I want to be able to say that I’m a woman” ’?

A) Emily Maitlis

B) Sophie Raworth

C) Kathleen Stock

D) J.K. Rowling

17. Which Left-wing politician called Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng ‘superficially black’ adding, ‘If you hear him on the Today programme you wouldn’t know he is black’?

A) Claudia Webbe

B) Rupa Huq

C) Naz Shah

D) Dawn Butler

18. ‘I have four teenage children. I have no intention of spending more time with my family’ said who on the prospect of retirement?

A) Michael O’Leary

B) Rio Ferdinand

C) Piers Morgan

D) Peter Andre

19. Which sporting icon did Nigel Farage tell to cheer up: ‘Concentrate on tennis and, a word of advice, crack a smile every now and then’?

A) Novak Djokovic

B) Andy Murray

C) Carlos Alcaraz

D) Daniil Medvedev

20. Which reality star said: ‘If you can survive being called fat on TV you can survive anything’?

A) Kym Marsh

B) Myleene Klass

C) Gemma Collins

D) Alison Hammond

21. Who was described by restaurateur Keith McNally as ‘a hugely gifted comedian but a tiny cretin of a man’?

A) John Cleese

B) James Corden

C) Russell Brand

D) Frankie Boyle

22. Which feminist disliked her stint on television as a ‘bimbo’: ‘I didn’t like feeling forced to be all looks and little substance. That’s how it felt for me at the time, being reduced to this specific archetype’?

A) Meghan Markle

B) Kat Hawkins

C) Alex Scott

D) Luciana Berger

23. Which woman claimed there are benefits to the menopause: ‘You can get a massive rise in libido — apparently’?

A) Davina McCall

B) Sally Phillips

C) Jennifer Saunders

D) Anne Robinson

24. Which businessman said: ‘I think it was me who sold Charles that pen,’ after the King lost his temper over its leaking ink?

A) Alan Sugar

B) Philip Green

C) Gerald Ratner

D) Richard Branson

25. Which chef defended his pricey menus by saying: ‘Never punish people who are making money. You don’t help feed children by making successful people ashamed’?

A) Jamie Oliver

B) Gordon Ramsay

C) Tom Kerridge

D) Nigella Lawson

26. Which football analyst upset snowflakes saying: ‘It’s a man’s game all of a sudden again. Men at it, blow for blow, and the referee letting them get on with it’?

A) Roy Keane

B) Alan Shearer

C) Graeme Souness

D) Jermaine Jenas

27. Which politician was attacked by Theresa May: ‘Either he hadn’t read the rules, didn’t understand the rules, or didn’t think the rules applied to No 10. Which was it?’

A) Boris Johnson

B) Dominic Raab

C) Matt Hancock

D) Rishi Sunak

28. Which MP was criticised by broadcaster Julia Hartley-Brewer for taking her child into Parliament: ‘Woman paid £82k a year (even while on maternity leave) is unable to organise a babysitter. Maybe you could ask your baby’s dad to step up every now and then?’

A) Stella Creasy

B) Meg Hillier

C) Lucy Powell

D) Tulip Siddiq

29. Who revealed the surprising lack of glamour: ‘Modelling? I stood around looking sad and thought about the money’?

A) Katie Price

B) Jamie Dornan

C) Sean O’Pry

D) Megan Barton Hanson

30. Which rocker refuses to have a hip replacement operation: ‘I’m not going to crisp it having my hip cracked, thank you. I’d rather be in a wheelchair, with [my wife] pushing me around, like Little Britain’?

A) Rod Stewart

B) Mick Jagger

C) Sting

D) Liam Gallagher

31. Which celebrity is not a fan of the South West: ‘Trust me, I absolutely love Cornwall — it’s just the Cornish I can’t stand’?

A) Gordon Ramsay

B) Richard Madeley

C) Rick Stein

D) Dawn French

32. Which TV star did not have a good professional start: ‘I was saying words I didn’t even understand, mangling sentences and completely floundering. I was awful’?

A) Phillip Schofield

B) Holly Willoughby

C) Stephen Mulhern

D) Joanna Gosling

33. Which former PM criticised Sir Keir Starmer for going on holiday as the cost-of-living crisis began: ‘Time and tide wait for no one. Neither do crises. They don’t take holidays and they don’t politely hang fire’?

A) Gordon Brown

B) John Major

C) Tony Blair

D) Boris Johnson

34. Which rocker was infuriated when a critic reviewed The Weeknd instead of him: ‘I am far, far, far more important than any of them will ever be?’

A) Cliff Richard

B) Mick Jagger

C) Roger Waters

D) Brian May

35. Who said: ‘Being Speaker makes you a target — a target of misinformation, a target of mockery and sometimes a target of violence’?

A) John Bercow

B) Nancy Pelosi

C) Lindsay Hoyle

D) John McFall

36. Whose Spice child was unimpressed by her mother’s former career: ‘Mummy, I’ve seen some pictures of you when you were in the Spice Girls and your skirts were unacceptable’?

A) Victoria Beckham

B) Geri Halliwell

C) Mel B

D) Mel C

37. Who misjudged their arrival to see The Queen lying in state and queued for 13 hours: ‘I thought by coming at 2am it was going to be a little bit quieter. I was wrong’?

A) Noel Edmonds

B) David Beckham

C) Susanna Reid

D) Harry Kane

38. Who said: ‘Anyone who says words hurt has never been punched in the face’?

A) Chris Rock

B) Tyson Fury

C) Toby Anstis

D) Lil Nas X

39. Who does not regret the ageing process: ‘You get a bit like, “Let’s go mad.” I go out a lot and get home at 2am’?

A) Joanna Lumley

B) Elle Macpherson

C) Davina McCall

D) Paul O’Grady

40. Who declared her love of pregnancy: ‘My body is doing incredible things right now, and I’m not going to be ashamed of that. This time should feel celebratory. Because why should you be hiding your pregnancy?’

A) Ashley James

B) Carrie Johnson

C) Rihanna

D) Vogue Williams

41. ‘Every day when I get out of a car, I thank the goddesses that I have strong thighs, that I’ve worked out to keep strong thighs,’ said which veteran star?

A) Jane Fonda

B) Maureen Lipman

C) Sheila Hancock

D) Julianne Moore

42. Which politician, when asked if their parents would vote for them in a General Election, replied: ‘I think my mum will, I’m not sure about my dad’?

A) Rachel Reeves

B) Jeremy Hunt

C) Michael Gove

D) Liz Truss

43. Which tennis legend said: ‘I owe everything to the gruff, pipe-smoking coach who paid me a penny per point’?

A) Annabel Croft

B) Virginia Wade

C) Emma Raducanu

D) Sue Barker

44. Which TV personality declared her love for politically incorrect behaviour: ‘I still want to get wolf whistles in my 70s and I don’t care how sexist that is’?

A) Amanda Holden

B) Tess Daly

C) Michelle Keegan

D) Samantha Fox

45. Which sporting tycoon called Vladimir Putin a ‘first-class person’, adding: ‘I’d still take a bullet for him’?

A) Roman Abramovich

B) Bernie Ecclestone

C) Stan Kroenke

D) Joe Lewis

1D; 2B; 3D; 4D; 5B; 6A; 7C; 8A;

9D; 10A; 11C; 12B; 13A; 14B;

15A; 16D; 17B; 18A; 19B; 20A;

21B; 22A; 23B; 24C; 25C; 26C;

27A; 28A; 29B; 30D; 31A; 32B;

33A; 34C; 35B; 36A; 37B;

38A; 39C; 40C; 41A; 42D;

43D; 44A; 45B.