Take me out to the ballgame, just don’t forget your gold Mastercard.
Or what’s left of Tom Brady’s bitcoin portfolio plus a few hundred bucks.
While cash becomes a relic at your favorite sporting venue, the amount of money needed to attend a game at Fenway Park, TD Garden, or Gillette Stadium continues to soar higher than a Chinese spy balloon.
The average Joe isn’t being priced out entirely, but attending games has become more of a treat and much less just another entertainment option.
“80 For Brady” is still a better deal than “$250 For Mac” – plus parking, traffic, and $10.50 beers.
Everything used to be so much cheaper when we walked uphill to and from school seven days a week through the snow while carrying 30 pounds of homework.
Those of a certain age could buy bleacher seats at Fenway Park for 75 cents. In 1981, a loge seat at OG Boston Garden to watch the Bruins face the Blues set you back $13. All you needed was $10 to sit in Section 59 to watch Larry Bird beat Dr. J during the 1981-82 season.
Rats got in free.
And the Patriots? Years went by when Billy Sullivan couldn’t give tickets away to watch his woebegone franchise play in the venerable dump that was Foxboro/Schaefer/Sullivan/Pothole Stadium.
Nowhere else on earth did water so seamlessly flow through concrete upon those gathered to hide from the elements beneath its stands.
A ticket for a seat in Section 3 for the first-ever home playoff game in Foxboro/Schaefer/Sullivan/Faulty Toilet Stadium after the 1978 season was $7.
All those cheap seats at Fenway Park and Foxboro back bought nothing but futility and frustration. Pre-Larry Bird snared banners were won in front of less than a full house. The Bruins skated 39 years in the wilderness after winning the Cup in 1972.
Coincidence is not causation, but it’s no surprise that the price to watch the Bruins, Red Sox, Celtics or Patriots in person has spiked well beyond the rate inflation since the Duck Boats first rolled in this century.
Attending a Patriots’ game requires an all-day time and all-in financial commitment. A study done by my colleagues at bookies.com (shameless plug alert) found the cost of four tickets (cheapest available before the season), parking, two 16-ounce beers, two 20-ounce sodas and four hot dogs was $585.50. Last week, the Patriots announced their first stadium-wide ticket price hike in 15 years.
A similar study from bookies.com found that those same items cost $472 for a Celtics game this season. Celtics season ticket holders just got their renewal notices for next year. Loge seats, for example, in Section 10 ranged anywhere from $100 to $400 this season, depending on date and opponent. The average increases from $220 this season to $225 next.
The Red Sox are the most affordable of the four major pro teams in Massachusetts to watch in person. They offer the most seats and most games. Math is undefeated.
The Red Sox finished last in 2022. They led the majors when it came to the cost of a family of four to attend a game at Fenway Park.
According to data shared by USA Today, the average cost of four tickets, four hot dogs, two beers, two sodas, and parking to attend a game at Fenway Park in 2022: $324.37.
The Red Sox “Friends & Family 4 Pax” for some games this year that includes four tickets, four Fenway Franks, and four fountain drinks: $99.
A traumatized childhood after watching your favorite team blow Game 7 of the World Series from the bleachers: Priceless.
“We recognize that Fenway Park is towards the top of Major League Baseball when it comes to the overall cost of attending a game but in terms of our local market, we are priced comparably to the other sports teams in town,” a Red Sox spokesperson told the Herald.
According to the 2022 Team Marketing Report, the average ticket price for the Red Sox was $61.71. That was dwarfed by the Patriots ($131.45), Celtics ($110.10) and Bruins ($104.77).
Thanks to dynamic pricing, upper bleacher tickets for the Tuesday, April 4 game against Pittsburgh can be had for $14, plus fees, through the team website. Parkas, thermal underwear, and influenza are extra.
“Ticket prices are set by a variety of factors including opponent, time of year the game is being played, and weather,” the Red Sox said. “We remain the smallest ballpark in Major League Baseball and we have to continue to be creative about how we can offer affordability to our fans.”
Some ways – like not paying Xander Bogaerts – are far more punitive than others. John Henry is not paying us to say this, but the Red Sox are working to get people under 50 inside America’s Most Beloved Ballpark. High school and college students can boo Henry in person for a little as $9. When he bothers to attend.
The best-in-the-universe Bruins sold this season’s single-seat allotment long ago. They offer full and partial season-ticket packages for as few as 10 games. Season ticket holders can get up to a 40% discount vs the single-game price.
Team “rules” limit online resales to TicketMaster Plus. The Bruins monitor sales to ensure sellers are fans looking to recoup costs and not ticket brokers. Ticket holders also sell to friends, family and others off the grid. The Bruins cracked down on high-volume re-sellers in 2017 and could do so after this season. Tickets have been pulled in the past from season ticket holders who sold too many seats.
The best deal in town for hockey fans are the Bruins practices at Warrior Ice Arena in Brighton. They are all free and open to the public.
Not a bad option for those who choose to entertain themselves with a full tank of gas or three bags of groceries.
Bill Speros (@RealOBF) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com and is a Senior Betting Analyst for bookies.com.