Steven May has lifted the lid on his mental health turmoil as the Melbourne gun revealed how depression reared its head when he moved to the Demons. 

May, 30, was at the heart of Melbourne's premiership triumph in 2021, commanding the defence with aplomb to help end the club's 57-year wait to win the flag.

However, he has also been embroiled in his fair share of off-the-field drama, having been spotted out drinking in 2019 while recovering from an injury, before being involved in a 'scuffle' at a restaurant with teammate Jake Melksham last season. 

But now May has opened up on how depression has long been bubbling away, underneath the surface. In a video posted on the Demon's official Twitter account, the 30-year-old shared his story. 

May grew up in Darwin where he admits that 'mental health wasn't a thing', leading to terrible consequences.

'I had friends and family commit suicide and I never understood why,' he said. 'As a young kid, I thought "why would they do that?"'

After his seven-year spell at the Gold Coast, May was snapped up by the Demons and was hugely excited about the prospect of playing for a team that made the previous season's preliminary final.

But he was immediately hit by a major injury blow after tearing both his groins in Round 1, ruling him out for 12 weeks. During his spell on the sidelines, the media attention surrounding his drinking session sent him into a downward spiral.

'The fact I couldn't be on the field helping my teammates just made it worse,' he said. 'Every time we'd lose, my name would come up in the media saying "they could have used him, but he let the team down."'

'You start to believe all the bad thoughts in your head and it is hard to escape that.

'I shut down from my teammates because I felt guilty. My actions weren't reflecting how I felt for the team, it was certainly the toughest year of my life.

'I probably had mental health issues throughout my life, they come and they go but when I got to Melbourne they were hanging around and getting stronger and stronger. I just couldn't shake this feeling of being sad all the time, and angry. 

'Even though I was at the club I wanted to go to, I was back playing footy, but I still was missing something. 

'The boys would play cricket at lunchtime or shoot some hoops but I'd just find myself getting my phone, sitting down in the corner and just scrolling through Instagram, just not being present.'

May sought help from the club psychologist where he 'began to unpack' his depression. He says he now finds solace in playing golf, which allows him to 'reset' every week.